Tuesday, April 23, 2024

How...Curious



















We have known for at least a year and a half that Gulag's minions were jacking around our blog view counts, since the day we watched them march backwards, in real time, and then stay at zero for hours, popping up to 2-3/minute, then reset to zero over and over again. (Of course, that never happens in Philadelphia or Atlanta vote counts, nosiree...) 
We've never trusted the tally since, but we aren't too wrapped up about it either way, (other than a certain amount of surprise and humility whenever another million rolls over the odometer) and after a certain amount of screwing around, after steadily rising over the years, since the noted horsing around incidents, it's settled into a routine of 5K-10K/day, depending on content. 

Which was apparently what we were supposed to assume.

We are beginning to suspect that whatever or whoever was doing the screwing around has lost its touch.
Out of nowhere, the reported view tally two days ago was 67K, yesterday's is 22K, and so far today we're at about 14K. Before we posted anything.

Maybe someone's screw-around-with-rightwing-blogview software has reached the end of tech support, and now the actual views are getting through unfiltered.

It doesn't change anything, and just underlines that the viewcounter is whacked, but it's funny to watch.

Monday, April 22, 2024

Hey, Lamestream Newsholes

And while we're up... 

Seen today on CNN, Fox, or some other idiotic channel:









Dear Media Muttonheads:

That silly-assed chyron implies that somewhere in Florida, there are friendly, gregarious, happy-go-lucky alligators that wouldn't regard two-legged deer as an item lower than themselves on the food chain at every opportunity.

Alligators aren't vicious. "Vicious" implies deliberate and conscious forethought. There is no premeditation and moral calculus going on in a reptilian brain the size of an almond, provided with rows of sharp teeth like a picket fence. They're simply being alligators, you incredible bunch of idiotic fucktards. If you want to be pedantic, there aren't any alligators other than vicious, which at minimum makes the adjective retardedly redundant. It's as uselessly duplicative as writing "idiot reporter" or "stupid TV news editor". Any journalist nowadays might as well just wear a dunce cap everywhere, and save the expense of printed business cards. 

This kind of silly horsesh*t is what happens when news outlets hire J-school graduates to write the chyrons, who place somewhere between midwits and morons on the college graduate IQ scale.

For the benefit of media morons everywhere, the only friendly alligators in recorded history were last seen during the Ponchielli Dance Of the Hours segment of Fantasia in 1940. They exist nowhere in real life, and if you'd only hire people who didn't learn everything they know about the planet from watching cartoons, and think that's real life, you bunch of self-important idiot savant dipshits wouldn't to be smacked about the head and shoulders with cluebats like this reminder 24/7/365/forever.

But at least it explains why Biden seems smart to you: Because compared to you all, he is.

Meet Cowardly's Cousin, Pissed

h/t Daily Timewaster

Sunday, April 21, 2024

Sunday Music: Burnin' For You

 


Apropos of the preceding meme, we choose B.O.C.'s 1981 Top 40 (#1 on the Mainstream Rock chart) hit for today's musical pick. It's sat on our rotisserie of pending SM picks, and we're happy circumstances have provided us an excuse to put it up today. Not least of which, in hopes that more Leftards will choose the pyrrhic form of protest, in every sense of that word.

Thought For The Day


 

Friday, April 19, 2024

Welcome Back





While we know CA has long maintained alternate comms and outlets, we take the time today to welcome the restored WRSA website back among the land of the living. Which is also apropos of the day. Just a coincidence, we're sure.

Thursday, April 18, 2024

This Is Why Retards Won't Sign Their Memes

As found multiple places this past week or so:

Nota bene: Retards never sign their memes.
Like with this one.














Dear Lazy Common Core Grad and (probably actual racist) Ignorant Fucktwat:

We realize you probably graduated at the top of your pledge class with a D+ average, but to help your bankrupt fund of information, allow us to present:

George Washington Carver inventor, author and professor

Holder of three patents, author of 44 agricultural bulletins, including How To Grow The Peanut and 105 Ways Of Preparing It For Human Consumption, as well as bulletins that detailed how to rehabilitate the soil of Southern states overplanted with cotton, by rotating crops like sweet potatoes, cowpeas, alfalfa, wild plum, and tomatoes, as well as bulletins on cotton itself, raising poultry, hogs, dairying, ornamental plants, preserving meat in hot weather, and nature study in schools, while heading the Department of Agriculture at the Tuskegee Institute for 47 years, until his death in 1943. For his life, work, and contributions to agriculture, he was honored with degrees, museums, having his likeness on U.S. coinage, postage stamps, having a Liberty ship named after him, as well as numerous schools, parks, and plant species.

Charles R. Drew Physician, medical professor, medical pioneer and inventor

Did his doctoral thesis on extending the usefulness of collected blood, which research was applied to the collection of both plasma and whole blood, saving thousands of lives during WW II in both Britain and the U.S. First African-American to earn a Doctorate of Medical Science. Became the director of the first American Red Cross Blood Bank, pioneering the concept, and also inventing the bloodmobile, for mobile collection of blood products. Literally responsible for saving millions of lives worldwide from 1940-five minutes ago, ad infinitum.

Garrett Morgan Inventor

Invented the modern traffic signal, to prevent serious traffic accidents.

Patricia Bath  Physician and inventor

Holder of 5 patents, including the first laser that allowed for laser correction of cataracts.





Daniel Hale Williams Physician, surgeon, and medical pioneer

Performed the first successful open heart surgery, in 1893.





I hold no brief, nor apologize for innumerable Dindus and wastes of skin and oxygen on this continent going back to about 1610, whose sole contribution to America or life in general is countless coroner's cases, and a prodigious amount of FAFO medals and Darwin Award nominations. I am second to no one when it comes to pointing and laughing at their boundless Clowncarnucopia of Fail. Dogpile on them all you want. We do, every chance we get.

But to be wholly ignorant of the above examples, and any dozen or two more, is to pull one's own trousers down, and spank their own ass in public, for the whole world to see. We learned of the first three of those in grade school, long before woketarded PC became a thing, when Nixon was president, FFS! Crack a friggin' book!

Somebody wants to change the original fucktarded meme from black to Sub-Saharan African inventions and technological advancements, go ahead on.

But anybody posting the original, as found, ought to see to a tourniquet for their dicks, to staunch the blood flow caused by their own cleats.

Check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Word to your mother. We yell because we care.

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Three - Maybe Four - Options

 









From most likely to least likely, IMHO:

Option One

As discussed previously, Israel lets Iran's next attack automagically destroy the Dome Of The Rock, then sits back and watches Iran take on the rest of the Islamic world for their stupidity, while they rebuild the third iteration of the Temple on its historical site.

This has been how Israel traditionally rolls. They sow chaos among their enemies, let their enemies' own internal conflicts serve Israeli interests, and reap the benefits, with carefully placed action. 

This is the David Option, putting one stone in Goliath's forehead. Which sends the Philistines (from whence narrow coastal strip tribe's name the modern word "Palestine" comes) fleeing for cover. History doesn't repeat, but it often rhymes.

Option Two

Israel and the Western powers continue to soak up and largely fend off Iranian attacks until someone comes up with a better plan, at a disparate and profligate waste of money and ordnance on all sides but Iran's. Which emboldens Hamas, Hezbollah, and every other whackjob jihadi group on the planet, multiplying attacks and provocations endlessly, and destabilizing the world to the benefit of countries like Iran, Russia, China, and North Korea. IOW, the exact pain-in-the-ass countries perpetually since 1950, and the current status quo since about 1974. This is the "Nothing Ever Changes" Option.

Option Three (maybe)

Israel expends another $1B on the next attack, which costs Iran less than $100M. The West decides the lemon isn't worth the squeeze, and Israel, going broke slowly or quickly, gets wiped off the face of the land there "from the river to the sea", fulfilling the most fervent expectation of generations of impotent Arab Muslims since 1948. This is the "Sh'yeah, when monkeys fly outta my butt!" Option.

Option Four

Israel gets tired of Iran's shit, and recognizing Iran has moved from largely impotent threatener to a nation actually capable of carrying out its endless calls and threats to destroy Israel, rolls up all Iranian provocations, incitements, and actions against Israel since 1978 into a ball and decides to present Iran with a bill. 

It comes in the form of a general nuclear strike on Teheran, and any number of lesser cities and all identifiable nuclear facilities in Iran, to the public outrage and quiet delight of every non-Persian country bordering/adjacent to Iran, not least of all Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and Russia, and to a large extent, about 90% of the United States (The vocal minority loses their collective shit, which isn't Israel's problem anyway.) 

Israel decides if they're going to be treated as a pariah by most of the world for decades, they might as well act like one, and ends their troubles with a near-nuclear state before it becomes a nuclear peer-to-peer contest. 

Iran, as a result, dissolves into a Yugoslavian polyglot of competing (surviving) groups, and large hunks of it are nibbled off by competing states and groups, ceasing to be anything of interest for a century. The Kurds carve out a homeland (pissing off Persian, Russian, and Turkish counter interests, which is a geo-political hat-trick), Iraqi Shi'a are largely turned into the Sunni's bitches, the Yemeni conflict is mopped up, Hamas surrenders or dies in Gaza, Hezbollah is strategically weakend in Lebanon, and the House of Saud takes the opportunity to do a large-scale roundup and execution dump of troublemakers of all factions within the kingdom. All of which heralds a decline of terrorism worldwide for 10-20 years, at least from the plethora of Iranian-sponsored @$$holes, who are generally 80-90% of all the world's incidents. This is the "Wouldn't It Be Nice" Option. 

{We could have made this last Option Five, substituting an identical strike, but with conventional weapons, as Option Four. But:

a) Israel couldn't accomplish that mission without multiple conventional strikes, a scenario unlikely and probably increasingly impossible after any initial strike, with dwindling and probably insufficient IAF resources in the first place. (Pay attention: Even Japan wasn't stupid enough to make Pearl Harbor a three-day raid.)

b) You don't take geo-political half-assed half-steps, and Israel prefers lightning strikes, not rolling thunder.

c) Nukes get the job done all at once, which is the entire point of the exercise.

Thus, a conventional strike, or strikes, are even - in fact far - less likely than a general nuclear reckoning, and frankly Iran has been begging for a Hiroshima enema from anybody since about 1978, on general principles.}

Nota bene: None of these are The Samson Option.

For Common Core grads, biblically/historically Samson, mighty judge of Israel, shorn, blinded, and a prisoner of the Philistines, asked to be taken to the pillars of the palace where the feast celebrating his enslavement was occurring, whereupon he summoned one last burst of his former strength to push the pillars aside, collapsing the place on himself and his tormenters simultaneously.

The modern equivalent would be Israel launching nuclear strikes at every capitol and major city of the surrounding Arab nations while on the verge of destruction by them, which is nowhere evident to any degree at the current time. Lebanon and Saudi Arabia tapped out after 1948; Jordan after 1967, and Egypt after the 1973 war. Syria continues, mainly because it signed no peace accords, and gets no hush money as a result, and they control Lebanese territory since 1976, and the dissolution of Lebanon as a coherent state. Iran has been too far removed to touch Israel directly (until this week), relying solely on third-party terrorism by surrogates, and thus avoided Israeli direct wrath for the same reason.

Until Obozo broke a decades-long policy on the part of the U.S., and sold Israel air-to-air refueling aircraft and capabilities, which now makes Iran no longer a one-way suicide mission, and instead makes it a nation well within the strike capabilities of the IAF, and the 50-100 nuclear weapons Israel "doesn't have".

Bummer for the Iranians, who have now entered the chatroom.

---

"Interesting times".

A Chinese veiled curse for good reason.



Garment-rending, teeth-gnashing, and poo-flinging disputes in Comments. We're out to play all day, so nod, or rage on, at your discretion. We'll moderate and push through the replies upon our return. Anonymous screeds from the Usual Suspects will be mocked or disappear at bloghost's whim, depending on how much our claws need sharpening on the scratching posts of your impotent rage.

Sunday, April 14, 2024

Hilarity Ensues In 3, 2, ...

 









I'm taking bets for pool markers that the next time Israel is faced with incoming Iranian missiles headed for the Al-Aqsa Mosque complex, AKA The Dome Of The Rock (which sits on the exact site of Solomon's original Temple, and the next iteration of it destroyed by Titus of Rome in 70 A.D. , and also the exact site whereupon Abraham - the father of both Jews and Arabs - was to have sacrificed his son Isaac before God's angel stayed his hand), or anywhere close, they step back, and watch the impacts, without lifting a finger. For the uninformed, the western edge of that complex is the Wailing Wall, the only surviving remnant of Solomon's Temple from Herod's expansion of the rebuilt Jewish Temple from about 586 BC, on the site going back to King David's era, nearly 1000 BC. There's just a little history related to the spot, kids.

A) Iran gets fingered beyond dispute for the attack on the third holiest site in Islam and its destruction, from which site, traditionally for Muslims, Muhammad ascended to heaven. What could go wrong with Persians blowing that dafuq up, right? "O noes, Iran! Pleeez don' trow us Jews into dat' der Brair patch!"

B) Mohammed has left the building, effectively doing the dirty work on Israel's behalf, and opening the path to bulldoze the rubble, and rebuilding the next iteration of Solomon's Temple on the holiest site in Judaism, long squatted upon by Islam after the Jewish Diaspora.

C) Bonus points if some clever subterranean archaeology finds an Israeli booster charge already in place to make sure anything larger than a breadbox hitting the Temple Mount vaporizes the Islamic shrine completely. Oopsie. Too bad, so sad. Extra credit on that if Israel's excuse for no response next time is anything like "Hey, sorry, we defended it last time, but that earlier attack depleted our defensive missiles(!), and, well, stuff happens, ya know? Bummer, Mooselimbs...inshallah, right?"

D) Double bonus: the rest of Arabic Pisslam decides Iran delenda est for the outrage, while Israel focuses on their newest civic works project. Suddenly Iran is a wee bit too busy to screw around with Israel for a decade or three, what with the entire Arabic world hitting Iran with air and missile strikes around the clock, and all. The horror...the horror.








E) Triple bonus: Accidentally (or any value of "on purpose") multiple other strikes "from Iran" also automagically take out widescale Arab settlements in Gaza and the West Bank, allowing Israel to reclaim the entire land "from the river to the sea" scot free, and watch Teheran eat the mother of all sh*t sandwiches for the act(s).

Hilarity ensues all around.

Get in on the pool: Place your markers.









UPDATE: We're sure it was pure wild coincidence that this post got 6660 views yesterday.

Nothing to see here.



Sunday Music: Big Time


 Peter Gabriel's #8 single from 1986, featuring the stop-motion video a la his previous hit Sledgehammer.